The Confident Negotiator


Here are a few photos of me standing awkwardly while my talented content creator attempts to make me look cool.

And I've gotta tell ya... 

It's taken me a long time to build confidence this way.

I'm still not 100% comfortable in front of an audience, and I've spent a good many years building this skill.  I've attended public speaking classes and I've made countless videos - many of which will never see the light of day! 

As with anything in life, it takes time.

On a day to day basis, I play many roles in my business.  Some of those roles are easy for me and others are more challenging.  I feel at home when I'm talking real estate.  I'm a real go-getter in the middle of negotiations! 

And yet, I don't feel so at ease with my Pinterest analytics!  

This got me thinking about confidence and how to build it in situations where it doesn't come so naturally.

And in particular, where can I help my clients grow?

When it comes to money, I've always felt comfortable.  Money is not a topic that makes me nervous.  It can however make my clients nervous.  And negotiations are no different.

I know a lot of people who strongly dislike negotiating.  And I love it.

So I thought I'd share my tips!

There are three essential practices to every successful real estate negotiation.


I always like to start with information.  

The more I know about a task or particular situation - or the home for that matter - the more confident I feel in general.

Line your ducks up in a row.  Gather as much information as possible, and don't begin your negotiations until you feel satisfied that you've covered all your bases.


Put yourself in their shoes.  

Knowing the desires and goals of the people you're negotiating with will definitely help you come out on top.

Despite the traditional rhetoric out there that negotiations need to be uber cut-throat, I really believe that everyone can have their cake and eat it too!  Being aware of the core desires of all involved is key to establishing a winning strategy. 

It will help you understand how and when to advance your priorities as well as when to concede to the needs of others. 

The strongest contracts result from win-win negotiations. 


Decide what you want.

This step is much more difficult than most clients generally expect.

And yet, it's oh so important!

 If your own goals are up in the air, you might miss out.  Without a strong vision, it can become all too easy to focus on aspects of the negotiations that aren't as important to you as others, resulting in a lot of wasted time. 

This means learning how to prioritize your needs so you can act quickly. 

Ultimately, knowing what you want will save you a lot of money.

a few other things to consider

a pre-negotiation

A pre-negotiation is all the subtle clues that are present before anyone formally starts talking contract.

Basically, negotiations always start before the negotiations start. 

Every contact you make with your real estate counterpart will provide some indication to you as to what they're thinking.  It will also provide you with key factors that could end up contributing to your final agreement.

Be cool when you walk through a potential property.  

Try your best to avoid claiming your love for your own personal version of Camelot. 

Don’t rudely complain about how terrible the feature wall looks...

Offending a Buyer or Seller could make a difference in any future discussions about the property, especially when you're dealing with multiple offers.    

Negotiating FTW  

The win-win negotiation sounds simple enough, right?  The only problem is, investors often mistake closing early for a negotiation win.  And this can be especially tricky when dealing with elderly sellers, for example. 

When it comes to a real estate contract, there are several things you'll want to consider before you decide to aggressively go for the absolutely bottom dollar.  If you didn’t do your diligence and you find out that the seller is a 96 year old lady who is waiting to be admitted to a care facility and who won’t accept any rushed offers that don’t account for her situation, you’ll lose. 

Bringing the scorched earth approach to the negotiating table has backfired more times than I can count.  People will take your actions personally - especially when they are more aggressive in nature, and it's much harder to get everyone talking again.


I like to determine the alpha in every negotiation situation.  I don't mean this insensitively either, but this role usually closely correlates to the person handling the family money.

If the Buyer or Seller are property investors for example, the emotional gambits may be less effective.  If the property has been in the family for multiple generations, there is sure to be more emotional involvement and heartstrings are sure to be pulled.


It's a busy and intense market right now...

We're often presenting offers and not hearing back on them right away.

This is always a major red flag.

In this type of market, you can bet that offers are being leveraged against other offers to create auction scenarios. 

Pure and simple - this sucks.  

But it's our sandbox to play in for the moment.

My advice?  Get everything in writing.  If something is being promised, get it in writing.

This is not an unreasonable request.